Dear DP Ruto, Coronavirus makes us equal, has no equal, your money can’t help…..

By Jerome O

This coronavirus makes us equal and has no equal because we are all united in trembling, but still class struggles to permeate and survive in the circumstances
It is very easy to tell a hoof eater from a beef eater
Whereas the beef eater walks with a sanitizer, a hoof eater has found love in sabuni ya miti popularly known as panga soap

We have found salvation in a bar soap. We are encouraged to wash our hands as frequently as it can be possible and for fear of kicking the bucket, that very exercise the Luo call “ng’ielo orengo” we have stopped everything to wash our hands
Apparently, at this point, we need more bars of soap than anything else, of course more than that storybook

Whereas the beef eater is locked up in his home, waiting for the epidemic to be over, the hoof eater is still roaming the market
Maybe he is seeking to stock supplies, which is very challenging factoring in, his modest means, and he is practicing caution while at it and maybe he is just being reckless

The government on the other hand, has decided that coronavirus is nocturnal and operates in darkness, more like a night runner from Seme, as such calling for a curfew, will mitigate the spread. It could be right
These are the desperate times when a drowning man clutches at anything in sight, including a live snake

Class doesn’t just exist in an epidemic, it is there everywhere, including in death
The custodian of Kiplombe cemetery in Eldoret, vandalizes the wooden cross erected on the poor men’s graves, the only possession these hoof eaters have on the surface of the earth to make “kuni” and create fire to warm himself, as he watches over the beautified mausoleum of the rich in their segment of the graveyard, to wade off vandals
Hoof eatership also exists in the animal kingdom

I once saw a rich man’s herd of holstein friesian leisurely enjoying an evening graze in lush grassland, secured by a barbed perimeter, as another herd of wildebeests inspect them from outside the fence

The wildebeests are kept by a hoof eater who imagines these are cattle, the same way he keeps a T9 or a Jackal or a fox, while imagining these are dogs, in the same league with real the rich man’s German Shepherd

He sent these animals by the roadside, which has zero vegetation for his “cows” forcing them to become eye witnesses, staring at their counterparts inside the farm, eating real grass as they wonder, what wrong they committed to Wanyonyi to deserve this

In other news, the rains have come at the right time and we are self isolating in the farms, to make something for the visiting locusts. We don’t want them to go hungry
It is very unafrican! Wash your hands, my fellow hoof eaters!!